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Famous Artist Meets Giant Reptiles

I was lying in bed on a blah morning in Beaumont when my mentor, John Ross Palmer, the world famous artist, texted to say he was getting on I-10 and coming to see me. As soon as I realized he was serious about driving 100 miles to get a glimpse of my alternate life, I called Gator Country and asked if they were open. For those not in the know, Gator Country is an alligator theme park full of giant reptiles. Some escaped during Harvey. Some are still there. “Yeah, we’re open,” the man on the phone said. Also: “Bring me a sandwich!” and “I love you!” Note: We’d never met. More significant note: John stopped at a gas station off I-10 and bought the man a sandwich, a Coke, pink snowballs, and some chips. Even more significant note: When John pulled up in the parking lot in his art van with “John Palmer Art” written clearly on its side, we heard some women screaming loudly, not because a gator had attacked them, but because one of them is a huge fan of his art! They had come all the way from California and the serendipity of the encounter was positively surreal, but hey, when you’re world famous you meet hordes of screaming fans everywhere! Even in a gator park in Beaumont. After having our picture taken with the group of women we proceeded to buy tickets, find the man who professed his love for me in exchange for a sandwich, and contemplate some philosophical questions such as: Is it wrong to wear alligator shoes to the alligator park? The rest is history.