“My worth is not determined by this pelican,” I said to my friend. From the piece of paper in front of me, the pelican gave me a defiant look. It refused to yield to my brushstrokes. It looked like shit. It was mocking me. “Who am I kidding? My worth is totally determined by this pelican.”
I was breaking the rules a little, painting in my new studio at Sabine Street instead of the Chrysalis. I’m trying to get my Escapist studio ready for my little party next week, honoring the collectors who commissioned my European watercolors, so I figured I’d move my mess to my other place and invite a friend to paint with me. It didn’t start out that way, but it ended up being fun. Maybe it was the company or venting about our creative challenges (my friend is preparing a solo show too), or maybe just painting in a different space, but I ended up relaxing and enjoying myself. Even the pelican eventually stopped being an asshole and started looking presentable.
My self-worth restored, I went to eat tacos, then went to the First Saturday Arts Market where my friend Robert Kuhn performed and I had a good time. Overall, life is looking a lot better right now. I even danced at market and I ate half of Mitch Cohen’s Greek salad and it was good. I guess, perhaps, what I needed was to break out of my cocoon.