Posted on Leave a comment

Regret

“Make a list of things you regret. I’ll be on top smoking a cigarette.” From Daisy Jones and the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid. I ended up really getting into the audiobook. I think it was the multiple character perspectives, the insights on the creative process, and the forbidden love in the book that hooked me so. The song lyrics too, the song lyrics are beautiful.

All I wanted to do today was listen to the rest of it while painting. I started off feeling haunted (after all, aren’t we all at the top of someone’s list of regrets smoking cigarettes, and isn’t there someone at the top of ours?) but ended up having a great day, full of energy. I started toying with the idea of maybe not moving out of my studio. Then again, I always have trouble letting go when things are ending, always romanticize what’s almost gone, like the last day of a trip when I feel like there’s newfound magic to my surroundings.

In the evening I met up with John and the dogs. Nancy loves me. And she has no regrets. She also doesn’t smoke. And neither do I.